How Saying No, Allowed For Yes
Recently, I said no.
I said no to a friendship that after many years stopped being healthy. I stopped saying their name, and I don't miss them.
I said no to a book deal that never was really published under my terms in the first place. I doubt it will ever be published again. And it's ok.
I said no to a columnist position at a prominent newsgroup. Once upon a time, that community's validation mattered. It doesn't. It's time for someone else to pick up that work.
I said no to reading just anyone's tarot cards. Tarot is a privilege, not your right.
I said no teaching yoga with a headset in a giant atrium with a DJ. There is already one Miss Jackson, it's not me.
Recently I said yes.
I said yes to dating someone a lot younger than me. He's fun, effervescent, and empowered. I don't care what people think. I feel loved.
I said yes to listening to blackbirds.... lots of different blackbirds that have been following me around for months, maybe even years. They scare the fuck out of me.
I said yes to working more closely with others on the shadow, the spirits, and the ancestors. The dead do talk, and like the blackbirds, it's complicated and liberating.
I said yes to teaching more restorative yoga, training people to read tarot because people asked for it. Sometimes we need to do whats in front of us.
I said yes to offering a cheap, monthly Dark Moon Subscription because this is my authentic practice - Dark Moon work- join me.
Most importantly I said yes to not having the answer. I moved from 'to will' and 'to dare', which are very comfortable places for men to be, and into a place of deep silence. As men, we are often taught to have solutions, and fix problems. Including fixing ourselves. We need to collectively stop that dialogue. Sometimes we simply have to stop pushing against the resistance (that kind of resistance doesn't make us stronger) and instead simply sit. Sitting in discernment can be the riskiest move of all. But it's ok to say no to what doesn't serve and yes to what does.
I wish personal growth was more glamorous, like we see on movie screens or from the pages of books. But it is not. It's work. Magic is work. Work is hard. Even when we love our jobs, work is still the act of performing duties to create the desired result. That is magic. The art and science of changing things at will.
Giving ourselves permission to say no to the things that no longer serve us is powerful. Recognizing those moments is the ultimate magical awakening.
Stepping into YES is scary. Luckily we are not alone. We have the wisdom of generations before us, our guides & allies, the Akashics, and more. We have the Dark Moon, and we have each other. What are you saying yes to?
Now is the holy moment.
Photo: © Joe Longo Photography