Meditation 101: Let That Sh*t Go…

Let us give thanks to the comedic relief of Jason Headley’s viral “F*ck That Meditation” video – an honest, unpretentious, and straight-forward portrayal of why we all need meditation: we just want to clear our minds and create space for what’s important in our over-stressed, over-stimulated, and over-loaded lives. It’s time to let the unnecessary go!

Why Meditate?

Meditation has existed for thousands of years, and is scientifically proven to make us smarter, happier, healthier, and create positive changes in our brains, which means a happier life! 

“Sit or lie comfortably, quietly. Allow yourself to be here fully in this moment. With your eyes closed, begin to connect with your inner world of thought and feeling. Gradually let the horsesh*t of the external world fade from your awareness…”

Who Is Meditation For?

Lady Gaga. Clint Eastwood. Oprah Winfrey. Jerry Seinfeld. Padmasree Warrior. Elon Musk.

You.

“If you find your mind wandering to other thoughts, don’t let it concern you. Just acknowledge that all that sh*it is f*cking bullsh*t. You’re here now, in this place, with your inner stillness.
Those bitches can’t get under your skin. They can’t even…”

How Do I Begin?

Simple- decide to commit to sit. Be it 3o seconds or 30 minutes to re-focus, re-center, and re-balance. Establishing a daily practice doesn't have to be intimidating, and it does't have to be expensive. It's all about giving yourself permission.

“Take in a deep breath … now breathe out. Just feel the f*cking nonsense float away. Take full, deep breaths. Breathe in strength, breathe out bullsh*t. Allow your breathing to discover its own natural, unhurried pace. If your thoughts drift to the three-ring sh*t-show of your life, bring your attention back to your breathing. And with each breath, feel your body saying, ‘F*ck that’…”

Is Meditation Religious?

No. To quote Deepak Chopra, “It has nothing to do with belief or ideology or doctrine. It’s a simple mental technique to go to the source of thought.” Meditation is all about you! It facilitates your connection to your true self, who you are deep down, completely aside from who and what else is in your life. No competition, no judgment. Only authenticity and the journey.

“With passive acceptance, just allow distracting thoughts to float by… ‘F*ck that’. With each breath you take, your thoughts become lighter, and all the soul-eating c*cksuckers just fall away into nothing. Take a moment to appreciate the silence. Those assholes can’t piss all over a purity like this…”

What Do You Mean, Google Doesn’t Have All the Answers?!

In our highly digital, access-to- all-information world, this may be shocking to hear, but it’s true!
In fact, through meditation you come to realize that each of us already has the wisdom and answers we need. The only source of happiness lies within ourselves. 

“You are weightless. Timeless. Without beginning or end. Completely relaxed and free of thought. And as you slowly open your eyes, greet the world and everything in it with a new beautiful breath, of F*ck that”
 


The article appears also at Tricycle: Buddhist Review